Tips & Tricks for College Interviews

DO YOUR RESEARCH.
The most important thing for you to do is research the school and program you are applying to before the interview. (You should've already done this, but now in FULL detail). Come in already knowing about the program, certain professors (by name), and current grants/studies so you look prepared. Go to the program's website, check out their FAQs, and read around a little.

ASK QUESTIONS.
Yes they are interviewing you, but this is also your chance to interview THEM to be sure they are a good match for your lifestyle. Come into the interview with a written list of questions. Bring out the actual list and read off it when you ask the questions. HINT: DON'T ask about money right off the bat. HINT HINT: DON'T ask a question that is blatantly stated on the website. Here you want to ask questions such as: how long should the entire program take, is part time study ever an option, what type of jobs do alumni get, are there any grants/scholarships available that can help me with payments, etc.

BRING YOUR MATERIALS.
Look like you know what you're doing. Bring a pen and a piece of paper to take notes on. Bring two pens, just because you're on top of it like that. Wear something presentable. Bring a couple copies of your résumé or CV so when/if someone asks for it you are prepared. (Oh this old thing?? Here ya go!)

TALK YOURSELF UP, GIRL! (Or guy. Whatevs)
Remember that time you did volunteer work that you hated while it was happening but now totally relates to your field? Talk it up. That awesome paper you wrote in undergrad that you're passionate about and got a good grade on? Talk it up. The skills you got from working in a fast paced restaurant environment where you had to be friendly, organized, and calm at all times?? Bring all that up. And put a positive, educational spin on it. Write down KEYWORDS that describe you and your work ethic so you can glance down and bring them up during conversation (examples: motivated, dedicated, studious, organized, punctual, hard worker, etc.)

THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT (but don't sweat it all)
When applying to schools, all of these are important but don't put TOO much emphasis on each one. You will be way better in one category and lack another, but that's okay. Rock what you got.
-GPA (overall and subject)
-SAT or GRE scores
-Letters of recommendation (Start planting the seeds for this early on. If there's a teacher that you really liked, keep in touch. Email them randomly to say hello and tell them what you're--educationally--up to. But don't be creepy about it. Teachers will be more likely to actually remember you and more willing to write a letter of reccomendation.)
-Volunteer experience
-Work experience
-Research experience (this is becoming more and more in demand nowadays)
-Entrance essay
-Writing samples


The most important thing for an interview is to go in confidently. Look presentable, be prepared, have a pen, and smile at everyone in the building (you never know who they are or who they know). Yes you are mainly in the hot seat, but you want to make sure this place is a fit for you as well.

Today I realized that:

--I can show someone that good-byes don't always have to be a bad thing.
--my addiction to chocolate is way more serious that I originally thought.
--while we build up emotional walls to keep out the bad (rejection, fear, pain) we are also blocking out the good (love, trust, opportunities).  Take a chance on both.
--sometimes I smile so much my cheeks hurt.
--the brain and body are amazingly resilient.  If you want them to be.
--you MUST give yourself the opportunity to soak things in.  If you are always looking towards'"the next big thing", you are not fully concentrating on how awesome right now is.
--when things get awkward, you just have to laugh.
--everyone is so uniquely beautiful in their own funny way.

STOP worrying about tomorrow when it's still today.

DON'T look 50 years down the line, plan for this minute.

NEVER want someone else's life. The grass is always greener. Love your own.

SOMETIMES it's okay to look back, but don't stare.

ALWAYS appreciate you who are, and where you are, at this very second.

BREATHE in the people, places, and things around you.

APPRECIATE everything about the home you live in, the car you drive, the life you live.

LOVE yourself, your family, your friends, like it's all you have.

"Why do you drink?"

Passed on to me by a friend, written by a longtime member of AA:

"I drank for happiness and became unhappy.
I drank for joy and became miserable.
I drank for sociability and became argumentative.
I drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
I drank for friendship and made enemies.
I drank for sleep and woke up tired.
I drank for strength and felt weak.
I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
I drank for courage and became afraid.
I drank for confidence and became doubtful.
I drank to make conversation and slurred my speech.
I drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell."

"What you think of me is none of my business"

An incerpt from Dr. Merritt Jones' "The Art of Being: 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in your Life", summarzed by me.


A student asked his teacher how to achieve true inner peace and freedom from emotional suffering.

His teacher said to him, "Go to the cemetery and curse at each person that lay in their graves. Tell them they are are stupid, that they will never amount to anything, and that their mother is ugly. After you have done this, go back again the next day and bless and praise each person in every grave, telling them how wonderful they are, that they are beautiful. Light a candle next to their site, calling them saints. Once you have done this, come back to me."

The student did as he was told, and returned to his teacher. The teacher asked the student "Well...what did they have to say about your opinions?"

Astounded, the student replied "How could they respond at all??! They could not hear a word I said, positive or negative."

His teacher replied, "When you too, do not hear what others have to say about you, positive or negative, you will know true inner peace and freedom from suffering."


~I just love this story. Isn't it amazing that we can go about our own business feeling confident about ourselves and what we're doing, but once someone says something negative about us, we seem to fall apart? Why do we let other people's perceptions or insecurities affect our life??

When you become mindful of your own true self, other people's opinions (nice OR nasty) are meaningless. YOU know who you really are and therefore there is no need to be defined by someone else. This does not mean you have to ignore compliments or criticism from others, but just be sure it does not become food for your ego.

You are unique and amazing. "Make the decision to not take anything personally, and then notice the inner peace that comes with that release."

Happy soul searching :)

"It's not what's happening...It's how you respond."

Tara Brach (from http://blog.tarabrach.com/) wrote this amazing blog post that we discussed in a Radical Acceptance group recently. Here is the concept, paraphrased by me:


Decades ago, when the English had colonized India they wanted to set up a golf course in Calcutta. At first the golf course seemed to be a great idea; the only challenge was that the area was completely overpopulated with monkeys.

The monkeys, of course, were very interested in golf as well. Every time people would hit their balls, the monkeys would run after the balls and throw them around the course. The golfers HATED this, and tried everything they could to stop this from happening. They built huge fences, which the monkeys would just climb over. They tried to sway them away with bananas, which the monkeys would just eat. They tried to lure them, capture them, and relocate them. But the monkeys would just find their way back.

Finally, the golf course had no choice but to put a new rule into effect: The golfers in Calcutta had to play the ball wherever the monkey dropped it.

They were on to something!! Think about it. We all want life to be a certain way. We want everything to be just right, just the way we planned. But sometimes life just doesn't cooperate. So when monkeys are dropping balls where we don't want them, what can we do???

**If we want to find peace, if we want to find acceptance, if we want to find freedom, we must pause and say--"Okay. This is where the monkey dropped the ball. I"ll play it from here, as well as I am able."**

Sometimes in life it doesn't matter what's happening...it's how we respond to it. How we respond determines our happiness and our peace of mind. When life picks up your ball and throws it wherever it wants, you just gotta pick it up and keep playing.

Is there a situation right now you are having a difficult time accepting? Is there any way you can change it? If not, how can you accept that this is where your ball has been dropped, and move forward??

Do not allow yourself to to become upset by People, Places, or Circumstances.

*They are powerless.*

Your reaction is their only power.

Thankful.

Did you know it is PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to feel anxiety and gratitude at the same time???  Becoming more and more aware of what you are grateful for can ward off unwanted panic and stress.  Sometimes I go days, weeks, months in a whirlwind about what is going on around me. I have a thousand different questions going through my head all day. What is going on at work this week? What time is my dentist appointment? What am I having for dinner?? (<--most important) Everything is just so damn fast paced.

Sometimes I forget to just sit back, and be thankful for what I have. Stop thinking about what I'm missing, and be thankful for what I have that others are missing.

Don't wait until something BIG happens to remember what you are thankful for! Take some time to sit back, relax, and appreciate WHO and WHAT you have around you. The house you live in, the family and friends you talk to, the job you have, the school you go to.

*Appreciate who you are, and where you are, at this very moment.*

Write out a list of everything you appreciate it your life and reflect on it.

Take some time to be thankful.

"What we think,

We become."


Don't believe everything you think....

Smelling the Roses

As I am rounding the corner to finishing up my Masters, my classmates & I realized something (better late than never, right?) How often do you actually stop and smell the roses?

In hectic times like these, we are constantly running...running to work, running home to change, running to the gym where we are literally running, running to take care of our kids, of our house, running to meetings, running out of time. While it's going on, we complain about how busy we are, how crazy we feel, and how non-stop our life is at the moment.

But, like magic, once it all slows down we are left standing with the rest of the world buzzing right by us. All of a sudden we look back at that "crazy time" and think... Wow, well THAT was a good experience.

When that happens to me, which it does all the time, I always wish that I had appreciated it WHILE it was happening. I wish I had stopped, looked around, & took a few moments to smell the roses. I encourage everyone to slooooooow down. Keep your eyes, your ears, and your heart wide open. Take it all in. This is YOUR LIFE. It only happens this once. Live, breathe, love....and keep running forward.

"No matter how far you have gone down a wrong road...

Turn back."

Sometimes when you are taking two steps forward in the game of life and everything is going great, something happens out of nowhere and BAM—ten steps back. It can feel discouraging, frustrating, embarrassing, and annoying.

If you are reading this,you need to remember to keep your head up and keep moving forward at all times. Things will happen that might bring you down a little, but you need to keep focused. Life isn’t just at a constant baseline, it looks like a heart monitor--it goes up, it goes down...but it always goes back up again.

If you are reading this, I know you are young, you are smart, and you are beautiful.

"I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, keep your chest out, keep your head up and handle it."--Tupac

New Research Study

Hello, World. :)

I am currently at New York University getting my Masters in Clinical Social Work. From working in the field for the past few years, I developed a strong passion for psychiatry research; especially involving females, adolescents, sex, and drug & alcohol use.

I am principal investigator on a new research study investigating the health & risk taking behaviors in *FEMALES, 18-26 YEARS OLD*. If you fall within this demographic and are interested in participating, please click on the link below to read the consent form & get more information. The entire survey should take 5 minutes of your time (or less!) and is completely confidential. Some questions are personal, so please complete in privacy.

Peace & Love xox

CLICK HERE TO ACCESS THE SURVEY

You're Never Gonna Survive Unless...

You Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously.

Life can go by in the blink of an eye. At times you can be totally relaxed and have everything in check, and then all of a sudden life goes from fun to TOTALLY overwhelming. Especially if you are working, or going to school, or taking care of a child, or just trying to take care of YOU. At those frustrating times, you might notice you start to be very hard on your self. You may start to feel anxious, stressed out, and upset.

But you have to remember...

Who cares?????

No one is putting that pressure on you, you are putting it on yourself. No one has too high of expectations for you, you have them for yourself. Sometimes when life seems to be flying by too fast...STOP. And look around. Be grateful for what you have, and who you are. Work hard, but do not put too much pressure on yourself. No one else is. It is healthy to have goals and boundaries, but be a little lenient sometimes. Cut yourself some slack. YOU ARE WORKING HARD!!!! Keep your head up and your dreams close to your heart, but realistic.

You got this, kid.

Remember:

It's okay to look back

but don't stare.

Breathe In, Breathe Out. (and know that I love you)

This is the time of year when people start getting stressed out.

School may be starting, you are looking for jobs, you are trying to keep your job. New relationships are beginning, or old relationships are ending, or you are not sure WHAT is going on in your world of relationships. The gym looks more annoying day by day, and "money" can become the worst word in the dictionary.

New seasons mean new temptations, and new stressors. Take this time to think about EVERYTHING you are appreciative for, old and new. People, places, even things. Someone else would kill to have the life that you are living right now.

Take a look around at where you are at this exact moment. Really, literally. Look around. Everything that has happened in your past, does NOT have to be in your present. You control your life, no one else. No matter what you are going through, someone else has been through worse. Be remindful of that.

You will never have this minute, this week, this month, this year...ever again. Take one day at a time, one breath at a time, one decision at a time. Live your life for you.

Breathe In, Breathe Out.

Serenity Prayer--extended version:

Grant us the serenity
To accept things we cannot change
Courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Patience for the things that take time,
Appreciation for all that we have, and tolerance for those with different struggles.
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the ability to feel love for each other
And the strength to get up and try again when we feel it is hopeless.

XOXOX

What Tangled Webs We Weave...

Think of yourself as the center of this spiral.

When you are growing up, you keep the people that mean the most to you, that you trust the most, the closest in this spiral.

You believe that they will never ever leave your inner circle and will stay as near to your center as possible.

As years go by, some of the people that were constantly in your inner circle start to web out, and new ones come in.

What means the most to you, who you trust, and what you look for in a friend all relate to this spiral.

How you were raised is (usually) a direct association to the attachment that you make and keep in all relationships.

THERE ARE THREE ATTACHMENT STYLES, and they all come back to this shape:

SECURE: A child in this category knows early on that they can depend on their guardian and that they will be there for them when they need support. They know exactly what they need and want from the guardian, and usually get it.

AVOIDANT: This child has learned that depending on their parents will not get them that secure feeling that they want, so they need to depend on themselves.

AMBIVALENT: This child learns that sometimes their needs are met, and sometimes they are not. Ambivalence means "not being completely sure of something". They realize early on what type of behavior will get their parent's attention, and then use it over and over again to get what they want. They are constantly looking for the security that they sometimes get.

Relationships can get very complicated. If you think back on how responsive and attentive your guardians were from infancy to early adolescence, sometimes that can connect the dots as to why the relationships you have now last/do not last the way they do.

And for some people this may not relate AT ALL, it is just an interesting way to think about things on a Friday morning :)

(The road of life is rocky and you may stumble too,

So while you point your fingers someone else is judging you)

Don't let them change you, or even rearrange you.

Bob Marley

We Can All Learn a Little Somethin from an Honest Abe....

1816 Family was forced out of home. Had to work to support them.
1818 Mother dies.
1831 Failed in business.
1832 Ran for legislature--lost.
1832 Wanted to go to law school, couldn't get in.
1835 Engaged to be married, sweetheart died, was heartbroken.
1836 Had total nervous breakdown and was bedridden for 6 months.
1840 Sought to become elector--defeated.
1843 Ran for Congress--lost.
1846 Ran for Congress again--won, went to Washington and did a good job.
1848 Ran for reelection to Congress--lost.
1854 Ran for Senate of the United States--lost.
1856 Sought Vice Presidential nomination at national convention--got less than 100 votes.
1858 Ran for Senate again--lost.
1860 Elected President of the United States.

These hurdles are the road map of the life of our 16th President, Abraham Lincoln.

After one of his Senate losses, he said "That path was worn and slippery. My foot slipped out from under me, knocking the other out of the way, but I recovered and said to myself, 'It's a slip and not a fall.'"

If you believe in something, keep going after it. No matter how many doors shut right in your face. IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING, DO IT.

Whether it's relationships, jobs, addiction recovery, ANYTHING--there are ups and there are downs. It's hard work. You can get so high only to get low again. But remember, it can always go back up again.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED....

We can all learn a little somethin from an Honest Abe.

AAAAND We Can All Learn a Little Somethin from a JESSICA

You're Never Gonna Suvive Unless....

YOU REALIZE THE WORLD IS BIGGER THAN YOU.

A few years ago I felt this intense need to get out. To leave the town I was used to, the job I was at, the bed I was sleeping in, and the anxiousness of not knowing where I was going...all behind me.

I convinced two of my friends that driving across the country from New Haven, CT to Las Vegas, NV would be an awesome idea. We rented a red PT Cruiser and started driving. Funniest part of it all--I slept in the backseat for three days straight and only woke up during the beautiful parts of the country. HAHA SORRY GUYS!! But beautiful it was.

Here's the sunrise in Arkansas...

....and the sunset in New Mexico.

We made it all the way to the Grand Canyon (as I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes) but one friend hated bugs, nature, and apparently canyons so we stopped only for a few minutes then ran back to the cruiser. Someone obviously needed lipstick for the picture...

When we finally saw the highway signs for Las Vegas, our life was complete. And we did what any normal late adolscent girls would do. We changed into dresses and got on stage and sang karaoke within minutes of arriving.

Vegas was awesome, and we went back again a few months later. And then again, a few months after that. Same karaoke song, except this time we flew down there. I thought that would satisfy my craving, but my traveling bug was just starting to itch.

I flew to Lima, Peru and went paragliding.

Then I went parasailing in the Grand Cayman Islands with my little brother.

Ate pizza and went on a tour of the coliseum in Rome, Italy...

...then ran with a couple of bulls (and was scared to death) in Pamplona, Spain.

I clearly had a very serious photo shoot in the hills of Vermont,

and then I came home & sang karaoke all over again.

These pictures are not to make you envious (or bored if you're my friend and I showed you them 30 times already). It is to INSPIRE YOU!!! It is summer. Some of you are bored with your job, your friends, your location, your life. Some of you have only traveled with your parents, or never traveled at all. GET OUT AND GO SOMEWHERE. Even without a plan, it is the most amazing experience ever. If you have the urge to go, GO. Learn something about yourself and other people.

I took this picture of my parents in the Virgin Islands for the 25th wedding anniversary without them knowing I was taking it. There comes a point when you realize you are not the world, the world is way bigger than you. Incredible, humbling feeling that hopefully you will never forget.

Fantasy League Draft Picks

I bet all the guys just got so excited about the headline of this topic. But I am not talking about baseball or football draft picks. I'm talking about the people you are surrounding yourself with.When you are picking out your fantasy league top picks, you ONLY pick the players that will help you in the long run, right? Someone that will catapult you towards success. Someone that respects you, will be a good team member, that wants to win almost just as bad as you do. So why wouldn't you do that when you're picking the people you hang out with???

Whether you like to admit it or not, the people that you associate with represents you. That is your group, that is where you belong. That becomes who you are, to other people. So why pick someone who has no goals? Who drinks too much, who does too much drugs, who brings others down??? That's the worst type of person to be around. If you are going anywhere in your life, you want to pick the top players to be on your team. Friends that are smart, friends that are funny, friends that are clean, friends that make you laugh, friends you can depend on.

Surround yourself with a wide variety of people that will help YOU become smarter, funnier, cleaner also.Really, think about it. Who is on your team? Who do YOU surround yourself with? Are those people helping or hurting you?

Do not allow yourself to to become upset by People Places Things or Circumstances.

They are powerless.

Your reaction is their only power.

Think About...

...Where you are right now. Right here, right now.
...Who has stuck behind you to get you where you are today.
...What you want to do from here, and who can help you do it.
...How you can actually get there.
...When you are going to take the first steps towards doing it.

Don't Hold Onto It...

Why do we hold on to things that we cannot change?

To emotions of overwhelming sadness, depression, anxiety. To feelings of guilt, jealousy, rage. We hold onto these feelings and let them become us. They become our self, our skin, our every thought, our identity. It is almost impossible to get these feelings out of our head. It totally overpowers us, to the point where we almost feel more comfortable wallowing in the sadness then trying to find a way out of it.

The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War was written by Reinhold Niebuhr in 1934. A few years later, an early member of Alcoholics Anonymous brought this prayer to the attention of the other members in a meeting, and it became an instant classic in the recovering community.

I used to wait tables in a restaurant and one day someone left me the bill, the cash, and a coin on my table. The coin had the prayer on it, and I instantly became mesmorized. Although I have never been religious, this saying has always had an impact on me in my every single day life:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Whether you are fighting a heroin addiction, jealousy, or hate. Whether you are fighting an old friend and you can not seem to drop the grudge you are holding deep in your heart. If you are mad at someone and don't even remember why you truly got mad in the first place...Life Is Too Short.

Don't Hold On To It.

Accept it, Acknowledge it, and Understand that you May Not Be Able to Change It.

Think of Ways that you Can Overcome It.

Let It Die.

Amazing

Most unplanned pregnancies happen from February to beginning of May.

If having a baby is not in your plans right now, what are you doing to protect yourself????

http://www.arhp.org/MethodMatch/


From my experience as being a clinical counselor at a woman's clinic, I understand that picking the right contraceptive method is hard and confusing. YOU are unique and so are your birth control needs. Use this tool to compare methods on the criteria that matter to you most. Find the method that matches your lifestyle by sorting, filtering, and comparing up to 4 methods side by side to find which fits right for you. Voila!!!! Protection, just like that :)

Appreciate

WHERE YOU ARE,

and

WHO YOU ARE,

at this very moment.

To All My Fellow Students....

IT IS ALREADY THE MIDDLE OF APRIL!!!!!!!! MAY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!!!!!!! KEEP IT UP KEEP IT UP KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!

You never know how important your grades are until you are DONE and applying to another program or interviewing for a job. It's the WORST to sit down and get started on a paper... but focus, take notes, make an outline, get it done. You will feel so much better when you take a few hours out and get a good grade.

WE'RE ALMOST DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!!

Be Couragious... No Bull

In 2007 I needed to take one last Spanish class to graduate from SCSU. I decided, if I need ONE Spanish class, I'm NOT going to take it sweating over the summer in New Haven. I've always wanted to fly out somewhere to study but just never had the guts.

So I gathered up the courage to enroll in a summer program in Salamanca, Spain knowing noone. While I was there I met some amazing people, some that I still talk to every day to this day (hola!). One night over some vino, a few of those crazy people mentioned Running With the Bulls; a festival that lasts for 9 days in Pamplona, Spain. A non stop party that starts every morning at 5am with thousands of people being chased after 6 gigantic bulls, triple the size of you. They explained it as the craziest, wildest, scariest thing anyone can experience. I knew right then and there that I needed to do it. I mean, I came this far, right?!??!

This picture was taken RIGHT after I ran. I did it, it was awesome, it was intense, I saw some one break both of their legs at the same time, but the rush I got from doing it was indescribable. (Like when you're driving and suddenly there's a cop behind you and you get so nervous for no reason no matter what, then once they pass you're like AW, NO BIG DEAL!!!!!!!)

The reason I am bringing this up, is because SPRING and SUMMER are coming. There are goals that you all have, things you thought about doing but were too nervous to carry out. Projects you wanted to start but put to the side. DO IT. WRITE IT. START IT. FINISH IT. ANYTHING you have wanted to do; travel, read a book, write a book, interview for a dream job, start a club, join a group, learn how to surf (my next goal).... ANYTHING. Anything you want to do, try it. New year, new beginnings, new story.

What is something you have ALWAYS dreamed of doing but never had the guts to do???

Fantasy League Draft Picks

I bet all the guys just got so excited about the headline of this topic. But I am not talking about baseball or football draft picks. I'm talking about the people you are surrounding yourself with.

When you are picking out your fantasy league top picks, you ONLY pick the players that will help you in the long run, right? Someone that will catapult you towards success. Someone that respects you, will be a good team member, that wants to win almost just as bad as you do. So why wouldn't you do that when you're picking the people you hang out with???

Whether you like to admit it or not, the people that you associate with represents you. That is your group, that is where you belong. That becomes who you are, to other people. So why pick someone who has no goals? Who drinks too much, who does too much drugs, who brings others down??? That's the worst type of person to be around. If you are going anywhere in your life, you want to pick the top players to be on your team. Friends that are smart, friends that are funny, friends that are clean, friends that make you laugh, friends you can depend on. Surround yourself with a wide variety of people that will help YOU become smarter, funnier, cleaner also.

Really, think about it. Who is on your team? Who do YOU surround yourself with? Are those people helping or hurting you?

You're Never Gonna Survive Unless....

You Got Your Friends.

I encourage everyone to be strong, in dependant individuals. To be themselves and to appreciate why they are different from others. To believe they can do anything they put their mind to, 100% at all times. But this does not always happen. Sometimes you doubt yourself, sometimes you're insecure, sometimes you can't figure out the right answer.

You need your friends!!!!!

EVERYONE needs a support group, outside of yourself or your exclusive relationship. You need someone to talk to, to vent to, to cry to, that won't twist your words or judge you. Someone who believes in you, who understands you. Who you can laugh with you and joke around with and have fun with. Do really hilarious things with and laugh for no reason at all. Friendships give us the ability to see ourselves in a different light when we couldn't before.

Any single thing you are in to, there is someone else who likes to do that too. Groups are a great way to meet new people who share the same interests. Keep your friends close, and .... your friends close. Get away from those enemies. Cherish your solid relationships and never take them for granted. Those are what will keep you running in those hard times that sneak up out of nowhere. xoxox

Reader's Choice Awards

It's about that time that I cannot wait to get out of school, sit outside in the sun, and read a good book. Nerdy??? Maybe. Awesome????? Definately. If you are one of the cool kids that reads this blog, please write a comment under here of any of your favorite book titles. Reading and stretching your mind is such a powerful thing and it's so much more helpful when other people give you suggestions to see what you are interested in, too. If I like the book I'll add it to my list of Must Reads on the right. Reader's Choice Awards!! Leave 'em!!

Has Spring Sprung For You???

Alright, guys. Now that it is getting semi-nicer out again, it's time to start getting yourself in shape. Physically, mentally, literally. I know I am totally guilty of eating whatever I want and staying in and watching TV all winter and now have developed some what of a winter coat on myself. It sucks when you start to see thinner, tan people wearing great Spring outfits. You don't have to be skinny and tan, but you can be HAPPY and COMFORTABLE with yourself, wearing that outfit, and sporting that smile, too!!!!

The easiest (slash hardest) thing to do is hit the gym. Go for a walk outside. Do some push ups. Check out an On Demand work out (they rule!!). Go to the grocery store and start eating healthier (doesn't have to always be healthY, just healthiER). You do not have to re-arrange your entire life, but you NEED to start moving. You also do NOT need to exercise every single day. Your body will get worn out and your muscles will stop developing after a while. Take your time, ease in to it, be consistant with it.

Buy some books and lay outside. That thing you always wanted to start writing?? Write it. You need to get your brain moving, also. For a list of great books to read, check out my Must Read books on the right hand side of the blog.

Once you start moving you will feel in SUCH better shape, in a better mood, and your body and brain will feel more awesome all around. I KNOW it's a hard first step, but once you make that leap you will find it does a body good!!!!

SUN wouldn't be so special if it wasn't for RAIN.

Flying By....

March is literally flying by. What did you do on New Years? Doesn't that seem like so long ago? Doesn't that seem like yesterday???

Take the time to appreciate the moment whenever you can, whenever you have one second out of your busy, crazy life to breathe. Take a step back and appreciate everything around you. Your friends, family, loved ones, classmates, children; anyone that is pushing you or supporting you in achieving your goals. And if that's no one, then appreciate yourself for even having goals in the first place and working towards them. That is momentous.

March will be April, April will be May, May will be June. This is your life. Stop, look around, breathe in, appreciate.

"In the year and a half since I quit drinking, I'm not sure if I've found the "good life" that the addiction counselor mentioned to me, but I've certainly uncovered a better one. It's made up of good days and bad days, and they are sometimes grossly out of proportion. But I think that's the thing that makes abstinence momentous; it has a sweet-and-sour appeal." --Smashed

THIS Is Your Moment--No, Really...

"Do more than just getting by. Make the choice to triumph, over adversity, over the circumstances, over your perceived limitations. Choose to triumph and you are already on your way. You are no longer making excuses, and no longer using the troubles as reasons for avoiding action. Live the life you know, deep inside, that you were born to live. You have so much to give. Step beyond the fear that you might lose something. Go forward with the confidence of knowing there is value to be gained by every experience. What value do you wish to gain, what new expression of your unique purpose do you wish to create right now? Go ahead and run with it, because THIS is your moment of triumph."

Ralph Marston

A poem written by an unknown child in a Nazi death camp:

From tomorrow on I shall be sad,
From tomorrow on.
Not today, today I will be glad.
And every day, no matter how bitter it may be.
I shall say:
From tomorrow on I shall be sad.
Not Today.

Extra, Extra, Read All About It!

Check out ya girl in the review from The Broadside in Fairfax, Virginia!!

http://www.connect2mason.com/content/your-body-wonderland-love-your-body-week-promotes-healthy-body-images

Understanding Psychological Trauma

Trauma can be physical or psychological. And either way it hurts. When it's physical trauma, we usually think of breaking a bone ("physical trauma to the tibia"). OUCH. But when we think of psychological trauma, it can mean a serious image that stays with us for a long time, and can do some real damage. But what is it, and what actually happens? (I know this is a long post, but stay with me!)

INTERPERSONAL TRAUMA is something that has happened to you, personally. Something that was planned out by someone deliberately. It can make the victim never trust people again. Domestic violence, assault, rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc. Something that happens to you that SHOCKS you, that you cannot seem to get over quickly. Longer term consequences occur if the trauma happens during childhood, or chronically over a long period of time, or if they know the perpetrator. Trauma can cause deep feelings of guilt, shame, remorse, helplessness, and aggression.

Many people, and a lot with addiction backgrounds, have a history of some sort of trauma. Which may lead to self-medicating with drugs or alcohol. When we were learning about this in class, I wracked my brain to think of something that has happened to ME. I couldn't think of a personal experience, but I used to work at a women's clinic in New Haven, CT and had experienced some things that I KNEW effected me deeply. I couldn't quite put my finger on it...

When something intense is just witnessed it is often discounted. But witnessing those things can sometimes be just as damaging as being the actual victim. It is almost like watching a "wide-screen TV" of the event. This is called INDIRECT TRAUMA. Not only do you witness the traumatic thing happening, but you see every detail of what is going on around it; the lights, the sounds, the cries, the colors, the noises. I sometimes have intense flash backs of things I saw or heard while working in that environment, and I now realize that that may or may not effect me, forever.

This is a picture that I took from the inside, looking outside, at the clinic I worked at. It is a loooong line of protestors holding up signs, yelling God Will Save You, that goes way down both sides of the street. Every morning walking into work, in the inner city, right passed the bullet proof glass windows, these people would be screaming at me, shouting at me, throwing things at me and my car. It is an image I will never be able to forget. I would feel helpless, ashamed, and confused.

I am not saying EVERYONE has some sort of trauma. I am also not saying I am a survivor. People have been through WAY worse things and have been able to get over it. I just think it is important to be aware and understand what this is, and if you have experienced it what goes on in that brain of yours.

****DURING TIMES OF TRAUMA...

Imagine if you are walking home alone from class at night. Someone comes out from behind you and sticks something up to your head. Screaming at you, shaking you. The alarm part of your brain, your amygdala, becomes so highly activated that automatic stress reactions take over. This is nesessary for survival. (Ever hear people say "I didn't even know I had the strength to push him off me"?) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ensues when something so intense happens to the brain that your amygdala reacts, and freezes in that position. Suddenly, your brain can no longer tell the difference between what is safe and unsafe; including normal stressors. If you survive the attack, you cannot understand that even walking during the day is a safe activity. Every single thing scares you and reminds you of that night. The best way to work through PTSD is to talk to a therapist and untrap these memories.

Remember, trauma is a VERY REAL thing and has happened in the lives of many people. Talk to someone. Bring it to the light. Don't keep it all inside. Make your mental world a safer place by letting it out.

I have the coolest thing to show you!

Follow this website to a link of free, YES, completely free substance abuse and mental health books. TOTALLY, COMPLETELY FREE. There is a list of all different subjects and topics. ANY SINGLE ONE that catches your eye, you can add to your cart and it will be mailed to you within a few weeks. GENIUS!!!

I have ordered a bunch for my program for school, and also for my personal life to be the beeeest therapist I can be :)

CHECK IT OUT!!!!! It's AWESOME!!!!! You're welcome!!!!!!

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You're Never Gonna Survive, Unless...

You Learn To Breathe.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

When you are worrying about yesterday, and wondering about tomorrow, you are not living for today. For RIGHT NOW. It is so easy to get overwhelmed once a million things start coming your way. But hasn't that happened to you many times before?? Haven't you gotten over it successfully?? Make a list of your top priorities and do one thing at a time. It will make you less anxious, more productive, and a happier person.

This is YOUR life. BREATHE!!!

MARCH 2010

MARCH 1ST!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it?????

You've made it this far. Everything that has happened to you the past few days, the last few weeks, the last ten years.... You are still here. Still breathing, still moving, still going. Do not take that for granted.

Think about those you have lost. THEY are not here anymore, and you still are. For a reason. Make the most out of everything you have. CAPITALIZE on that.

Your story is being written by you. Make it awesome.

George Mason University!!!

Yeah baby!!!!!

This week I was the guest speaker at George Mason Unversity in Virginia for Positive Body Image Awareness. Here are a few pictures...

book signing for beYOUtiful, February 23, 2010

being so nervous while pretending I am totally cool

Hi does anyone know where the speaker is???

How did I get into this nutshell??

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who showed up and didn't fall asleep. It means the world to me. You guys ROCK!!!!!!! If anyone from GMU was there, please drop a comment and let me know what you thought of the presentation. Or if you weren't there, drop one and let me know what you think of the blog. Thank you!!!

Stop planning the future. Today is today, not tomorrow. Worrying about the future causes so much unnecessary stress in your life. If you are consumed with tomorrow, you can't fully concentrate on today.

Make every situation an amazing memory. Instead of just going through the motions of your every day life, make the most of it. If you make the best of every situation, you'll have nothing to lose. Plus, it's funnier.

Instead of holding grudges, just let it go. Life's too short to be mad at every person that says something mean to you. Come on. Grow up. Be an adult. Stop being so damn stubborn. Don't hold grudges.

Laugh at the haters. If someone makes a stupid comment to you that won't affect your mood next week--don't stress it. Just laugh it off, baby. You're better than them, anyways.

Everything happens for a reason. You are where you are today because of every single decision you made yesterday. Don't get so upset if something goes wrong--everything will work out the way it should. Always does, always will.

taken from page 52 of beYOUtiful

La Vita e Bella
Life is Beautiful

If you remember anything from this book, I want it to be this:

That life is not that serious.
Nobody knows what size your jeans are.
Nobody knows how much you weigh.
Be real.
Be confident.
Be every single inch of who you truly are.
Believe in yourself, always, at all times.
Be sure to make mistakes.
Be sure to learn from them.
SMILE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
Laugh at yourself.
Live your life the way YOU wanna live it.
You only get this one chance.
*You will be beautiful just by being who you are.*

Never forget that.

Stay beautiful, baby xoxox

my free style of the day

I follow my dreams

One step at a time

No one can take it

Because they are mine

I put my heart in it

I keep my head straight

I leave the rest up

To karma and fate


next time you are bored and have a notebook or peice of paper in front of you, start writing. if it rhymes, awesome. if it doesn't, awesome. music, thinking, reading, lyrics, and expression are such an amazing & powerful thing. you can rip it up and throw it out when you're finished, but sometimes when writing freestyles (first thing that comes to your head) you write things down on paper that you didn't even know existed in your brain.

GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY!!!!!

I am leaving, on a jet plane, to DC tomorrow morning bright and early. I am going to George Mason University to deliver speeches to undergraduate students for Love Your Body Week. I am so excited and super anxious!!!!!!! Everyone gets SO nervous when they have to get up in front of people and speak, but then when someone else is up there it's not like you are staring at them and judging them, right??? RIGHT??? Haha just kidding. Of course not!! It's all part of getting up there and conquering your fears.

I look forward to a nice little vacation/work in DC and Virginia, hanging out with some awesome friends, and saving the world from little insecurities, one scale at a time. :)

Look in the mirror, darling. YOU....are beautiful.

Today you are You.

That is truer than true.

There is no one alive

Who is Youer than you.

Near Life Experience

I work as a research assistant and one question we ask subjects is if they ever had a Near Death Experience. The answer, of course, is different for everyone.

I started thinking....Who HAS had a near death experience? What does that mean? What's the difference between a Near Death Experience and a Near Life one? I found a part of an interview someone did with a Dr. Bernie Siegel who an interesting perspective...

"When I was four years old I had a near death experience. I was out of my body and almost died choking. And the comment I make is: if it's just chemistry, then why don't we all become drug addicts after that experience? You'd think if it was just chemistry, you'd try to repeat that experience with something. But instead, we become very spiritual human beings, not addicted to anything except maybe life.

If you have an alcohol or drug addict, you know when they really start to enjoy life? When they join AA or find something more meaningful than the addiction. And to me, the term for that became a Near Life Experience."

A Near Life Experience can happen to anyone. It is a critical decision point; a chance to live the life you want. It can come out of nowhere. A Near Life Experience is an opportunity to take that first step down a road leading to a more productive, satisfying, happy life.

Unfortunately, we all know people who do not survive their Near Life Experiences. They don't take that first step. They lose the opportunity. Something inside them dies. When faced with adversity, SEIZE IT.

Whatever your situation is, you have the choice to change it. RIGHT now.

Make your life meaningful. Live your dreams. Live for your life.