STOP worrying about tomorrow when it's still today.

DON'T look 50 years down the line, plan for this minute.

NEVER want someone else's life. The grass is always greener. Love your own.

SOMETIMES it's okay to look back, but don't stare.

ALWAYS appreciate you who are, and where you are, at this very second.

BREATHE in the people, places, and things around you.

APPRECIATE everything about the home you live in, the car you drive, the life you live.

LOVE yourself, your family, your friends, like it's all you have.

"Why do you drink?"

Passed on to me by a friend, written by a longtime member of AA:

"I drank for happiness and became unhappy.
I drank for joy and became miserable.
I drank for sociability and became argumentative.
I drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
I drank for friendship and made enemies.
I drank for sleep and woke up tired.
I drank for strength and felt weak.
I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
I drank for courage and became afraid.
I drank for confidence and became doubtful.
I drank to make conversation and slurred my speech.
I drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell."

"What you think of me is none of my business"

An incerpt from Dr. Merritt Jones' "The Art of Being: 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in your Life", summarzed by me.


A student asked his teacher how to achieve true inner peace and freedom from emotional suffering.

His teacher said to him, "Go to the cemetery and curse at each person that lay in their graves. Tell them they are are stupid, that they will never amount to anything, and that their mother is ugly. After you have done this, go back again the next day and bless and praise each person in every grave, telling them how wonderful they are, that they are beautiful. Light a candle next to their site, calling them saints. Once you have done this, come back to me."

The student did as he was told, and returned to his teacher. The teacher asked the student "Well...what did they have to say about your opinions?"

Astounded, the student replied "How could they respond at all??! They could not hear a word I said, positive or negative."

His teacher replied, "When you too, do not hear what others have to say about you, positive or negative, you will know true inner peace and freedom from suffering."


~I just love this story. Isn't it amazing that we can go about our own business feeling confident about ourselves and what we're doing, but once someone says something negative about us, we seem to fall apart? Why do we let other people's perceptions or insecurities affect our life??

When you become mindful of your own true self, other people's opinions (nice OR nasty) are meaningless. YOU know who you really are and therefore there is no need to be defined by someone else. This does not mean you have to ignore compliments or criticism from others, but just be sure it does not become food for your ego.

You are unique and amazing. "Make the decision to not take anything personally, and then notice the inner peace that comes with that release."

Happy soul searching :)

"It's not what's happening...It's how you respond."

Tara Brach (from http://blog.tarabrach.com/) wrote this amazing blog post that we discussed in a Radical Acceptance group recently. Here is the concept, paraphrased by me:


Decades ago, when the English had colonized India they wanted to set up a golf course in Calcutta. At first the golf course seemed to be a great idea; the only challenge was that the area was completely overpopulated with monkeys.

The monkeys, of course, were very interested in golf as well. Every time people would hit their balls, the monkeys would run after the balls and throw them around the course. The golfers HATED this, and tried everything they could to stop this from happening. They built huge fences, which the monkeys would just climb over. They tried to sway them away with bananas, which the monkeys would just eat. They tried to lure them, capture them, and relocate them. But the monkeys would just find their way back.

Finally, the golf course had no choice but to put a new rule into effect: The golfers in Calcutta had to play the ball wherever the monkey dropped it.

They were on to something!! Think about it. We all want life to be a certain way. We want everything to be just right, just the way we planned. But sometimes life just doesn't cooperate. So when monkeys are dropping balls where we don't want them, what can we do???

**If we want to find peace, if we want to find acceptance, if we want to find freedom, we must pause and say--"Okay. This is where the monkey dropped the ball. I"ll play it from here, as well as I am able."**

Sometimes in life it doesn't matter what's happening...it's how we respond to it. How we respond determines our happiness and our peace of mind. When life picks up your ball and throws it wherever it wants, you just gotta pick it up and keep playing.

Is there a situation right now you are having a difficult time accepting? Is there any way you can change it? If not, how can you accept that this is where your ball has been dropped, and move forward??

Smelling the Roses

As I am rounding the corner to finishing up my Masters, my classmates & I realized something (better late than never, right?) How often do you actually stop and smell the roses?

In hectic times like these, we are constantly running...running to work, running home to change, running to the gym where we are literally running, running to take care of our kids, of our house, running to meetings, running out of time. While it's going on, we complain about how busy we are, how crazy we feel, and how non-stop our life is at the moment.

But, like magic, once it all slows down we are left standing with the rest of the world buzzing right by us. All of a sudden we look back at that "crazy time" and think... Wow, well THAT was a good experience.

When that happens to me, which it does all the time, I always wish that I had appreciated it WHILE it was happening. I wish I had stopped, looked around, & took a few moments to smell the roses. I encourage everyone to slooooooow down. Keep your eyes, your ears, and your heart wide open. Take it all in. This is YOUR LIFE. It only happens this once. Live, breathe, love....and keep running forward.

Sometimes when you are taking two steps forward in the game of life and everything is going great, something happens out of nowhere and BAM—ten steps back. It can feel discouraging, frustrating, embarrassing, and annoying.

If you are reading this,you need to remember to keep your head up and keep moving forward at all times. Things will happen that might bring you down a little, but you need to keep focused. Life isn’t just at a constant baseline, it looks like a heart monitor--it goes up, it goes down...but it always goes back up again.

If you are reading this, I know you are young, you are smart, and you are beautiful.

"I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, keep your chest out, keep your head up and handle it."--Tupac

You're Never Gonna Survive Unless...

You Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously.

Life can go by in the blink of an eye. At times you can be totally relaxed and have everything in check, and then all of a sudden life goes from fun to TOTALLY overwhelming. Especially if you are working, or going to school, or taking care of a child, or just trying to take care of YOU. At those frustrating times, you might notice you start to be very hard on your self. You may start to feel anxious, stressed out, and upset.

But you have to remember...

Who cares?????

No one is putting that pressure on you, you are putting it on yourself. No one has too high of expectations for you, you have them for yourself. Sometimes when life seems to be flying by too fast...STOP. And look around. Be grateful for what you have, and who you are. Work hard, but do not put too much pressure on yourself. No one else is. It is healthy to have goals and boundaries, but be a little lenient sometimes. Cut yourself some slack. YOU ARE WORKING HARD!!!! Keep your head up and your dreams close to your heart, but realistic.

You got this, kid.

What Tangled Webs We Weave...

Think of yourself as the center of this spiral.

When you are growing up, you keep the people that mean the most to you, that you trust the most, the closest in this spiral.

You believe that they will never ever leave your inner circle and will stay as near to your center as possible.

As years go by, some of the people that were constantly in your inner circle start to web out, and new ones come in.

What means the most to you, who you trust, and what you look for in a friend all relate to this spiral.

How you were raised is (usually) a direct association to the attachment that you make and keep in all relationships.

THERE ARE THREE ATTACHMENT STYLES, and they all come back to this shape:

SECURE: A child in this category knows early on that they can depend on their guardian and that they will be there for them when they need support. They know exactly what they need and want from the guardian, and usually get it.

AVOIDANT: This child has learned that depending on their parents will not get them that secure feeling that they want, so they need to depend on themselves.

AMBIVALENT: This child learns that sometimes their needs are met, and sometimes they are not. Ambivalence means "not being completely sure of something". They realize early on what type of behavior will get their parent's attention, and then use it over and over again to get what they want. They are constantly looking for the security that they sometimes get.

Relationships can get very complicated. If you think back on how responsive and attentive your guardians were from infancy to early adolescence, sometimes that can connect the dots as to why the relationships you have now last/do not last the way they do.

And for some people this may not relate AT ALL, it is just an interesting way to think about things on a Friday morning :)

Don't Hold Onto It...

Why do we hold on to things that we cannot change?

To emotions of overwhelming sadness, depression, anxiety. To feelings of guilt, jealousy, rage. We hold onto these feelings and let them become us. They become our self, our skin, our every thought, our identity. It is almost impossible to get these feelings out of our head. It totally overpowers us, to the point where we almost feel more comfortable wallowing in the sadness then trying to find a way out of it.

The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War was written by Reinhold Niebuhr in 1934. A few years later, an early member of Alcoholics Anonymous brought this prayer to the attention of the other members in a meeting, and it became an instant classic in the recovering community.

I used to wait tables in a restaurant and one day someone left me the bill, the cash, and a coin on my table. The coin had the prayer on it, and I instantly became mesmorized. Although I have never been religious, this saying has always had an impact on me in my every single day life:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Whether you are fighting a heroin addiction, jealousy, or hate. Whether you are fighting an old friend and you can not seem to drop the grudge you are holding deep in your heart. If you are mad at someone and don't even remember why you truly got mad in the first place...Life Is Too Short.

Don't Hold On To It.

Accept it, Acknowledge it, and Understand that you May Not Be Able to Change It.

Think of Ways that you Can Overcome It.

Let It Die.

SUN wouldn't be so special if it wasn't for RAIN.

Flying By....

March is literally flying by. What did you do on New Years? Doesn't that seem like so long ago? Doesn't that seem like yesterday???

Take the time to appreciate the moment whenever you can, whenever you have one second out of your busy, crazy life to breathe. Take a step back and appreciate everything around you. Your friends, family, loved ones, classmates, children; anyone that is pushing you or supporting you in achieving your goals. And if that's no one, then appreciate yourself for even having goals in the first place and working towards them. That is momentous.

March will be April, April will be May, May will be June. This is your life. Stop, look around, breathe in, appreciate.

You're Never Gonna Survive, Unless...

You Learn To Breathe.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

When you are worrying about yesterday, and wondering about tomorrow, you are not living for today. For RIGHT NOW. It is so easy to get overwhelmed once a million things start coming your way. But hasn't that happened to you many times before?? Haven't you gotten over it successfully?? Make a list of your top priorities and do one thing at a time. It will make you less anxious, more productive, and a happier person.

This is YOUR life. BREATHE!!!

MARCH 2010

MARCH 1ST!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it?????

You've made it this far. Everything that has happened to you the past few days, the last few weeks, the last ten years.... You are still here. Still breathing, still moving, still going. Do not take that for granted.

Think about those you have lost. THEY are not here anymore, and you still are. For a reason. Make the most out of everything you have. CAPITALIZE on that.

Your story is being written by you. Make it awesome.

Stop planning the future. Today is today, not tomorrow. Worrying about the future causes so much unnecessary stress in your life. If you are consumed with tomorrow, you can't fully concentrate on today.

Make every situation an amazing memory. Instead of just going through the motions of your every day life, make the most of it. If you make the best of every situation, you'll have nothing to lose. Plus, it's funnier.

Instead of holding grudges, just let it go. Life's too short to be mad at every person that says something mean to you. Come on. Grow up. Be an adult. Stop being so damn stubborn. Don't hold grudges.

Laugh at the haters. If someone makes a stupid comment to you that won't affect your mood next week--don't stress it. Just laugh it off, baby. You're better than them, anyways.

Everything happens for a reason. You are where you are today because of every single decision you made yesterday. Don't get so upset if something goes wrong--everything will work out the way it should. Always does, always will.

You're Never Gonna Survive Unless....

You Learn To Laugh At Yourself.

Life can go by in the blink of an eye. At times you can be totally relaxed and have everything in check, and then all of a sudden life goes from fun to TOTALLY overwhelming. Especially if you are working, or going to school, or taking care of a child, or taking care of a whole house. At those frustrating times, you start to get very hard on your self. You may start to feel anxious, stressed out, and upset.

But you have to remember...

Who cares?

No one is putting that pressure on you, you are putting it on yourself. No one has too high of expectations for you, you have them for yourself. Sometimes when life seems to be flying by too fast...STOP. And look around. Be grateful for what you have, and who you are. Work hard, but do not put too much pressure on yourself. No one else is. It is healthy to have goals and boundaries, but be a little lenient sometimes. Cut yourself some slack. YOU ARE WORKING HARD!!!! Keep your head up and your dreams close to your heart, but realistic.

You got this, kid.

Have You Looked Outside Today?

Ignore the annoyingness of yesterday.

Do not even think about the anxiousness of tomorrow.

It is January, 2010. And you MADE it this far!! Think of all the times you thought you wouldn't make it. And it is BEAUTIFUL outside. It is beautiful outside, which can make it beautiful inside your head. Be appreciative of everything you have today. Where you are, who you are with, what you are wearing, what you are driving, what plans you are making for the future. Remember those who are gone, and push yourself to drive forward.

Be in the moment. Today is today. That is all it can be.

xoxox

In Ten Years...

...no one will remember if your jeans were a size 2 or 10. Or if your earrings were designer. If your make up was matching your outfit. How many hours you spent at the gym. Or if your hair was perfectly straight.

People WILL remember how you treated them. How you acted towards them. How comfortbale or uncomfortable you made them. How friendly you were. How rude you were. How nice your smile was. If you were self concious, or confident. If you were that person that complained all the time. Or if you gave them a chance.

Make the things that MATTER, stand out. The other things are things that only YOU care about, no one else. Not even your mom. Smile, be nice, be thankful, be you.

Life is the Present. Miss the Present...Miss your life!

Things can be going your way for days, and then BAM!!!! Something totally unexpected happens that throws you off right into left field. You start to sweat, your heart starts to race, you cannot control it. You become completely overwhelmed. Your thoughts race into the future, and strive to arrive. Your thoughts go into the past, and fret to regret. Take a few minutes to BREATH, slow down, and stop. Close your eyes and take deep breaths in and out. Understand that as quickly as the situation came, the situation can be fixed…MENTALLY.

The following was taken from http://www.selfhelptechniques.com/

Imagine...
...change is easy, quick and lasting.
...internal peace, in spite of an ever changing world.
...you really do have power to create your tomorrow.

Believe...
...real change starts here, where you are right now.
...no thing or person out there has the power to create or change your life.
...your life is a mirror reflection of your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, choices.

Choose ...
...to delete your negative mental chatter and self talk
...to train your brain to change your life.
...stillness speaks more in moments than years of scattered chatter.
...to take back your power within.
...to let the stress filled world off the hook.

Rules to Live By in 2010

HEALTH:
--Drink plenty of water.
--Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and less food that is manufactured in plants.
--Live the 3 E's; Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
--Read more books than you did in 2009.
--Walk as much as you can. And while you walk, smile.

PERSONALITY:
--Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
--Don't have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Invest your energy in the positive, in the moment.
--Don't over do it. Keep your limits.
--Don't take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
--Make peace with the past so it does not spoil your future.
--You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
--Smile and laugh as much as you can.

SOCIETY:
--Call your family more.
--Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
--What other people think of you is none of your business.
--Your job won't be there for you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

LIFE:
--Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
--However good or bad a situation is, IT WILL CHANGE.
--No matter how you feel, Get up, Dress up, Show up.
--Your inner is always most happy. So be happy.
--The best is yet to come.

Rememeber Her???

Remember when you were younger and there was always that kid that picked on you?? Told you you were ugly. You were too fat, you were too stupid. Found a fault with every single thing you did, had, or loved. Every picture of you was ugly, your hair, your teeth, your clothes, your light up velcro sneakers. You looked at that kid every day in the mirror. You felt that, you soaked it in, it impacted you. It GOT to you. Remember that kid?????

It's time to put that kid away. It's time to forget the hurtful comments about your looks, about your family, about your big Jewish nose. Leave the insecurities of your weight, your goofy smile, your shoes, behind. You are older now. You are still you. Look in the mirror and instead of seeing that kid, see yourself. All your faults, all your insecurities, and all of your beauties. Look for the positive things in yourself, and take the "bad things" you used to worry about and push them away. Embrace them, make them who you are today. Look at who you became!!!! Look at all of the things you have accomplished!!!!!!

YOU, ARE, YOU. And that's the only damn person you'll ever be.

Stay beautiful, baby. xoxox