Trauma can be physical or psychological. And either way it hurts. When it's physical trauma, we usually think of breaking a bone ("physical trauma to the tibia"). OUCH. But when we think of psychological trauma, it can mean a serious image that stays with us for a long time, and can do some real damage. But what is it, and what actually happens? (I know this is a long post, but stay with me!)INTERPERSONAL TRAUMA is something that has happened to you, personally. Something that was planned out by someone deliberately. It can make the victim never trust people again. Domestic violence, assault, rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc. Something that happens to you that SHOCKS you, that you cannot seem to get over quickly. Longer term consequences occur if the trauma happens during childhood, or chronically over a long period of time, or if they know the perpetrator. Trauma can cause deep feelings of guilt, shame, remorse, helplessness, and aggression.
Many people, and a lot with addiction backgrounds, have a history of some sort of trauma. Which may lead to self-medicating with drugs or alcohol. When we were learning about this in class, I wracked my brain to think of something that has happened to ME. I couldn't think of a personal experience, but I used to work at a women's clinic in New Haven, CT and had experienced some things that I KNEW effected me deeply. I couldn't quite put my finger on it...
When something intense is just witnessed it is often discounted. But witnessing those things can sometimes be just as damaging as being the actual victim. It is almost like watching a "wide-screen TV" of the event. This is called INDIRECT TRAUMA. Not only do you witness the traumatic thing happening, but you see every detail of what is going on around it; the lights, the sounds, the cries, the colors, the noises. I sometimes have intense flash backs of things I saw or heard while working in that environment, and I now realize that that may or may not effect me, forever.
This is a picture that I took from the inside, looking outside, at the clinic I worked at. It is a loooong line of protestors holding up signs, yelling God Will Save You, that goes way down both sides of the street. Every morning walking into work, in the inner city, right passed the bullet proof glass wind
ows, these people would be screaming at me, shouting at me, throwing things at me and my car. It is an image I will never be able to forget. I would feel helpless, ashamed, and confused.
I am not saying EVERYONE has some sort of trauma. I am also not saying I am a survivor. People have been through WAY worse things and have been able to get over it. I just think it is important to be aware and understand what this is, and if you have experienced it what goes on in that brain of yours.
****DURING TIMES OF TRAUMA...
Imagine if you are walking home alone from class at night. Someone comes out from behind you and sticks something up to your head. Screaming at you, shaking you. The alarm part of your brain, your amygdala, becomes so highly activated that automatic stress reactions take over. This is nesessary for survival. (Ever hear people say "I didn't even know I had the strength to push him off me"?) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ensues when something so intense happens to the brain that your amygdala reacts, and freezes in that position. Suddenly, your brain can no longer tell the difference between what is safe and unsafe; including normal stressors. If you survive the attack, you cannot understand that even walking during the day is a safe activity. Every single thing scares you and reminds you of that night. The best way to work through PTSD is to talk to a therapist and untrap these memories.
Remember, trauma is a VERY REAL thing and has happened in the lives of many people. Talk to someone. Bring it to the light. Don't keep it all inside. Make your mental world a safer place by letting it out.
